


Like Sleep To The Freezing

by ladyhawke



Series: The Holy Trinity [2]
Category: Iron Man (Comic), Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Boys Kissing, Bucky Barnes Returns, Drinking, Hurt Tony Stark, I promise, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Self-Pity, Stream of Consciousness, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Feels, Unrequited Love, but it will get better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 14:35:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4063591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyhawke/pseuds/ladyhawke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A glimpse into Tony's head and his feelings for Steve. He thinks a lot of lots, feels a lot of things, and drinks. </p><p>This is part of a series but can be stand alone also.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Sleep To The Freezing

The first time Tony saw Steve Rogers on the helicarrier bridge, he knew he was already in love. When he saw Captain America fall from the sky to battle against himself and Thor, that took balls. He held his own and when he leveled a god with his shield...wow. On the bridge though he could see Steve and not just the iconic cowl. That face. That wolf in sheep’s clothing face. Everyone sees the cherubic beauty but Tony can see past that to the real Steve. 

Love, lust, whatever it was, Tony was hooked like never before. So like any elementary school boy with a crush, Tony pulled at Steve’s metaphorical pigtails. Not that he didn’t give everyone a hard time but he really worked at riling Steve up. He would push and Steve would just push right back. The tension built in the lab. Yeah, it was there between everyone thanks to Loki but between he and Steve? That was magic. It almost came to blows. It may seem strange to want to be hit by that man. Sometimes contact is contact. Either way you feel alive. Then everything went to crap. And they worked together so seamless and unified. 

Since then Steve is all he could think of. Even with Pepper. Especially with Pepper. He loved her but she wasn’t what Steve was to him. He loved Pepper like a painter loved a sunset. He loved Steve like something all consuming. After an argument with Pepper, when he knew it wasn’t going to last between them, that they made better friends anyway, she asked him something that put it all in perspective. 

“What do you think love feels like, Tony? Do you have any idea?” She said in that breathlessly annoyed tone she only took with him. 

He watched Steve stretching on the balcony. Without turning to her, he said the first thing that popped into his head.

“It feels like sleep to the freezing.”

Since then his black little heart had only burned for the capsicle. 

Steve’s movements are fluid. When he runs it is like water flowing effortlessly over the rocks. Tony could write novels just on the way he moves. Even he, the master engineer, could not craft something so flawless. 

Tony dreamed about him constantly. His favorite was where he is lying in bed, naked, and Steve is suddenly on him. Kissing him all over the lower portion of his body. The kisses turn to nibbles. The nibbles turn to sharp bites that have that exhilarating pain and pleasure mix. The pressure is enough that he knows the skin has been punctured. He looks down to see Steve’s smiling face covered in blood. The light skin, the piercing blue eyes, and red smeared lips, he can’t help but think this is how the American flag should look. But damn, he has never felt more patriotic. He wakes with a raging hard on. He wraps a hand around his cock, that image still burned in his mind. A few quick tugs and he cums with a sharp cry. 

During a movie night he watched, leered, whatever, Steve move around Tony’s kitchen with ease. Like he belonged there. Like he belonged in Tony’s house. His pants are nicely tailored, giving a wonderful view of his ass. What would he look like without that layer of fabric? Right in front of Tony, perfect for worshipping? Licking every inch of available skin, Steve moaning Tony’s name…

“Tony.” Steve said, trying to get his attention. “Bruce asked you a question, cat got your tongue?”

“Something like that.” Tony responded, trying to focus. 

Steve’s apartment is destroyed in a fight. Tony does the friendly thing and offers him a room at the tower, which he accepted. Steve now lived at his house. Slept at his house. Showered at his house.

One night he worked late into night. Drinking, working, same difference. He walked into the living room area where Steve was sprawled on the ground drawing in his sketchbook. It must have been engrossing since he didn't notice Tony sloppily sneaking up. 

"Whatcha drawing?"

"Oh...uh..." Steve tried to cover the sketch but Tony saw.

"Were you drawing my arc reactor?" He asked as he stumbled down on the floor. 

"I thought the design was interesting."

"It was. Thanks by the way. But that technology is obsolete. Do you want to see the newest model?"

Not waiting for a reply, Tony ripped his shirt off, exposing the complicated mess of scars the arc reactor had left behind.

Steve didn't look disgusted, he looked intrigued. 

"It has it's own appeal." Steve said quietly as his fingertips ghosted over Tony's chest. 

Maybe it was the whiskey, maybe it was Steve's pouty lips, or maybe he felt sparks popping, so he closed the gap between them. Their lips came together hot and sweet. 

Tony's fingers traced the blond's jaw line, holding him in place. His tongue moved over those lips, playfully darting into Steve's mouth. It could have felt like fireworks, but it felt better, like peace. Like home.

Steve separates them, ripping Tony from bliss.

"Tony....I..."

He doesn't want it to end.

"Just come back to my room tonight. No one has to know."

Wanting to tackle Steve right there, he exhibits immense self control and contains himself.

"I can't do that." Steve said with a mix of want and sadness in those baby blues.

Suddenly Steve walked out of the room before Tony could argue. Well how did he fuck that up so royally?

The next morning Steve told him all about Bucky. Who he was, what he was to Steve...obviously something Tony could never be...and that he was searching for him.

He drank a lot. That passed the time.

Until the witch messed with his brain and he saw everyone he cared for dead. He saw that face, Steve's face, dying. He was the one Tony ran to. The one he can't live without.

In real life Steve looked him in the eyes and said good or bad, they will do it together. Tony didn't know whether to cry or swoon.

Steve slept peacefully at Clint's secret family home. His chest swelled with each deep, easy breath. Tony watched like a man hypnotized until he fell asleep.

Getting in a tiff with Steve was one thing, seeing Steve rip a log in half with his bare hands was another. It triggered his flight or fight response, which was oddly arousing. The physical power this man had juxtaposed with the sleeping beauty only hours before...how could Tony not be in love?

They finished the mission together, just like the old man promised. 

Things became slow again. Steve was gone a lot. In a way, it was probably a good thing. But Tony missed him. He felt the ache all the way to his bones.

Then Steve was home. But he wasn’t alone. He didn’t see Bucky, he just knew it was him. Tony decided to be especially self-destructive and stand outside Steve’s door, debating whether to knock or not, when he heard a moan. The vocalizations of men fucking. He heard an unfamiliar rough voice. 

Then the unforgettable timber of Steve. His Steve saying, no, begging, to be fucked harder. Steve “Language” Rogers, saying how much he wanted to be fucked. Tony was lost between coming in his pants and crying. It was so hot, so raw, so open, but it wasn’t him in there with Steve. No, he was coming all over in the sheets with another. 

If he wasn’t so numb, he probably would have died from the pain.

It was a few days later when Tony walked into the living room and saw them together for the first time. Steve was whispering something quite into Bucky’s ear, Bucky smiling with his eyes downcast. It was so tender and intimate. Tony wanted to throw something at them but he couldn’t. 

Steve turned a deep shade of red when he noticed Tony. He quickly introduced the men. 

Tony wanted to hate Bucky. He wanted to be spiteful and jealous. When he looked at Bucky, when Bucky spoke to him, when the light gleamed off of his metal arm Tony understood. He saw that Steve and Bucky had to be together, that is just how things were. Steve was the sun burning bright and hot, Bucky was the moon dark and mysteriously beautiful. And Tony, well, he was stuck in the dirt of Earth billions of miles off of these two celestial beings. 

It’s a crime how much he wants it, them, to be close to it, to be part of it. He keeps it to himself. He smiles and acts normal, never letting his hilariously charming facade fall. 

“Sure Bucky can stay here too. Didn’t want Steve getting lonely.” He said with a wink.

Currently there was a case of wine he needed to keep company anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope everyone liked it!
> 
> From now on the series will become my OT3, Bucky/Steve/Tony.


End file.
